10 Things That Only People From Pfafftown Will Understand

(Note: Readers of Daniel Is Funny, Pfafftown is the town I grew up in. I hope that helps to make the decision behind creating this list make more sense. I didn’t just pick a random small town and decide that that one would be perfect for satirizing a common type of online article.) Pfafftown, famous…

Hey, Man. You Might Not Want To Put That In Your Mouth.

Think about it for a second, bud. I know that, in the heated intensity of your popcorn devouring, you felt a tiny piece, a tiny, miniscule fraction of a cooked kernel, fall. You felt it flee from your fingertips, spinning through the air and hitting the front of your shirt. It tumbled away, and at…

The Hot Dog Cart In Front Of Scully’s Is Your Salvation

There comes a point towards the end of every period of drunkenness when you say to yourself “Food, if you can hear me, help.” This is a tough situation to be in in downtown Asheville after midnight, when every restaurant has closed its doors, as if under some culinary equivalent of a V For Vendetta…

(BOOMING FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

I feel bad whenever I don’t update Daniel Is Funny for a few days. That being said, I have an excuse. Around the same time that the first issue of Daniel Is Funny is coming out (and don’t worry, it’s coming out very, very soon,) you’re going to be getting another little book to chew…

Bad Advertisements: Unexplained Robot Games

Yesterday, I covered an advertisement meant to help geeks lure other geeks into their cellars. Today’s advertisement is also aimed at the nerd crowd, but it’s for nerds who have given up on everything, much less love. All nerds love video games. The nerd introductory scene of any movie always features the nerd playing a…

Bad Advertisements: Geeks and Blow Up Dolls

It’s hard to capitalize on the dating website market. OkCupid, Match, and eHarmony have monopolized disappointment to such an extent that any intrepid, young entrepreneur with the dreams of better helping people find other people to bone has to look into niche areas, like farmers and Christians, to gain success. Another niche group that desperately…