Facebook Fan Page

Posted on by Standard Respond

I made a Facebook page for Daniel is funny.

https://www.facebook.com/danielisfunny

I did this for a few reasons.

1) It makes the site easier to promote. My old plan of sending out hawks with url’s spray painted on their wings wasn’t working out. At all.

Hmm.

Remember that sentence about there being a few reasons? I only had one. Forget I said anything about that “few” stuff.

“Like” it if you want. I think you should. Really. I would “Like” it, if I were you. And me being you is pretty sexy.

https://www.facebook.com/danielisfunny

-Daniel

 

My Favorite Things: Jump Ultimate Stars

Posted on by Standard Respond

This may come as a surprise to you, considering that I’m a skinny, middle class, white kid who grew up in the suburbs, but I went through a period of my life where I loved anime.

I was never one to compare anime to Western animation, as most of my friends did. “It’s not cartoons. It’s anime,” they would say, as they tried to justify being so engaged with something that many of my peers had written off as childish. I remember this first being an issue in Sixth Grade, the grade where you had to officially start liking girls, or you would be mocked.

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The 8 Kinds Of Walking Dead Episode

Posted on by Standard 4

the-walking-dead

Watching The Walking Dead religiously has given me the opportunity to notice some distinct trends. Thus, I’ve been able to categorize the types of episodes that you’re bound to see while watching it. If you work for the show, you’re free to use this as a guide for what to write next.

New Guys Show Up – Can you trust them? There isn’t enough supplies to support them, too! If there’s four, you can trust three of them. One of them is nuts though. The crazy one dies at the end of the episode. Two of them will make it to the main cast. The last one, eh, who cares?

Why Are You Being So Weird? – Some character is having problems. Why were they not having problems before? This episode, that’s why. Let’s deal with some of their problems. End it with a monologue about having problems in the zombie apocalypse. It’s different now, way different from when there weren’t zombies around.

There Are Too Many Extras – You over-hired for the season, so now it’s time to kill off five people without speaking roles. This is relatively easy, as, literally, death is fucking everywhere. A bunch of middle-aged people screaming in pain as a zombie comes up from behind them to bite their necks.

Some Other Dude – Maybe you haven’t seen this person in a while. Maybe they got separated from the group. Regardless, we’ll spend the episode with them. It’ll be boring, but at least we don’t have to hang out with Rick today, so it’s a rock-and-a-hard-place kind of boring.

Buncha’ Zombies In The Road – Four characters are in the van. Doesn’t matter who. Really, it doesn’t. The van stops because a lot of zombies are in the road. Or it crashes and some zombies are nearby. Regardless, there’s a big reveal of a ton of zombies just chillin’ until these four characters showed up. Why are so many zombies in the road?

Who Did The Shit? – Someone did something, like killing a pet, or spilling some water, or lighting something on fire. Let’s find out who did it. My money is on Carl. He’s young, so it’ll be cool.

Sad Things – Somebody major says some nice things and then dies. Rick doesn’t find out until the end of the episode. He does that thing with his face where his bottom jaw expands like a python’s mouth and he starts to cry. He cries. Glenn says something funny early on in the episode, so it’s cool.

Moral Decisions/Moving On – Season Finale episode. Are people naturally good or evil? Is it okay to kill humans who aren’t zombies? Can you give people second chances? Take your pick. Now, talk about them. Maybe someone dies. End the episode with a wide shot of a place that the comic fans recognize. They’ll dig that, and it will get them excited for the next season.

-Daniel

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Five Types Of Women That You REALLY Shouldn’t Date In Your Twenties

Posted on by Standard 3

Hey, males. I know that you’ve all read things about the types of women that you should and shouldn’t date when you’re in your twenties, because nothing can ruin your twenties more than the crippling self-doubt that requires you read lists detailing who you should and shouldn’t date in the first place. Things like “5 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Date A Sorority Girl” and “7 Things That Suck About Dating A Model.” Well, as someone who has met about a hundred sorority girls and is currently surrounded by a group of laughing, excited, twerking models, let me be the first to tell you that you can date the shit out of them, if you want. Date them to your heart’s content. Hell, marry them, if you feel so inclined.

I have managed to compile a list of the types of women that you REALLY shouldn’t date in your twenties. I mean, seriously, don’t date these girls. Don’t date them so hard that you literally “un-date” them, a word that loosely translates to “screaming.” These are the types of women that will ruin your life, and more importantly, ruin your twenties. Twenties. Twenties. Twenties. You’re in your mid-twenties.

You’re fascinating.

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Whatever A Spider Can 15: The One-Eyed Idol

Posted on by Standard Respond

Sisyphus was a character in Greek mythology who, because of his deceit, was cursed to push a large boulder up a hill, only to watch it roll back down, forcing him to begin again, for all of eternity. Starting the second disc in this Spider-Man series, I realize that I am the modern day Sisyphus, and this complete collection is my boulder. I gut through every episode, and by the end of one, I’m back where I started: sad.

the one eyed idol

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12 Workout Tips From A Beginner, For Beginners

Posted on by Standard 1

Starting a workout plan is hard, but as someone who did it yesterday, for the first time, by himself, I can promise you that it is possible! All you need to do is set goals for yourself. I decided that I wanted to have massive arms in a short time, but after not getting them yesterday, I decided that working out isn’t really worth it for me. So, I quit. But you don’t have to.

These are twelve exercises that I did yesterday that are absolutely almost proven to harden your cores and ‘bliques. I’ve provided a description of each, along with an explanation of what body parts they help, and how many sets and repetitions you should do before giving up, like me.

Elbow_Skin

Pull Your Body Parts

Before starting this intensive workout, you should pull on your body parts some in order to make them prepared for the assault. Grab your foot and lift it backwards. Pretend your foot is the tail of a scorpion and pull on it, yelling “I’m strong like a scorpion.” Reach down and touch your toes. If you cannot bend that far, simply touching your stomach will do.

Body Parts: All of them. The best part about the human body is that it is primarily elastic. You can pull on it, and it won’t break. I tried for twenty minutes and I have just as many fingers as I did when I started.

Sets & Reps: All of them.

Earth Thrusters

Beach your whale all over the floor and then put your hands under you, bottoms down. Then press down so hard that your whole body is forced to come up. Then let go and fall back to the floor, thrusting your groin into the earth.

Body Parts: Top Half Of Body

Sets & Reps: 1 Set

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