After a little hiatus, Daniel Is Funny will be coming back in full force tomorrow. But, to hold you over until the morning, here is a picture of me with one of my birthday presents. It’s beautiful in ways that even I can’t comprehend. -Daniel
Readers, I’m about to upload pictures of my body onto the internet. I hate doing this, despite how proud I am of the progress I’ve made through the combination of a regular exercise routine, and a diet of constant, merciless eating. I guess that stems from a lifetime of asking people to delete the photos…
(Note: Readers of Daniel Is Funny, Pfafftown is the town I grew up in. I hope that helps to make the decision behind creating this list make more sense. I didn’t just pick a random small town and decide that that one would be perfect for satirizing a common type of online article.) Pfafftown, famous…
Think about it for a second, bud. I know that, in the heated intensity of your popcorn devouring, you felt a tiny piece, a tiny, miniscule fraction of a cooked kernel, fall. You felt it flee from your fingertips, spinning through the air and hitting the front of your shirt. It tumbled away, and at…
There comes a point towards the end of every period of drunkenness when you say to yourself “Food, if you can hear me, help.” This is a tough situation to be in in downtown Asheville after midnight, when every restaurant has closed its doors, as if under some culinary equivalent of a V For Vendetta…
I made a quick video to talk about books that I enjoyed. LINKS FOR THE ADVANCEMENT OF CAPITALISM: XEROX FEROX: THE WILD WORLD OF THE HORROR FILM FANZINE SEAGALOGY: A STUDY OF THE ASS-KICKING FILMS OF STEVEN SEAGAL MADEA LIVES!: A FILM-BY-FILM GUIDE TO LOVING TYLER PERRY -Daniel
I feel bad whenever I don’t update Daniel Is Funny for a few days. That being said, I have an excuse. Around the same time that the first issue of Daniel Is Funny is coming out (and don’t worry, it’s coming out very, very soon,) you’re going to be getting another little book to chew…
Yesterday, I covered an advertisement meant to help geeks lure other geeks into their cellars. Today’s advertisement is also aimed at the nerd crowd, but it’s for nerds who have given up on everything, much less love. All nerds love video games. The nerd introductory scene of any movie always features the nerd playing a…
It’s hard to capitalize on the dating website market. OkCupid, Match, and eHarmony have monopolized disappointment to such an extent that any intrepid, young entrepreneur with the dreams of better helping people find other people to bone has to look into niche areas, like farmers and Christians, to gain success. Another niche group that desperately…
Merrimon Avenue is Patton Avenue’s generally nicer younger brother. While you will age two to three years at any point that you decide to take a left on Merrimon, once you actually start moving, it’s generally a decent pace. Compare that to Patton, where my crumbled skeleton resides at the traffic lights beside The Rush,…
“The world hasn’t heard much from Alfred Hitchcock ever since Hulk Hogan slammed him in the Pontiac Silverdome at Wrestlemania III. But, before that, he left a vast legacy of films that other people couldn’t help but tamper with. You would think that, with films of the caliber of Psycho , The Birds and Rear…
Recently, I’ve begun seeing a few arguments over the N-word, and some white people complaining about their inability to use it. I know that, immediately, those who both understand logic, and have read the last sentence, would say “Why?”, but this article is not for those people. This article is for everyone who can’t possibly…
