I feel bad whenever I don’t update Daniel Is Funny for a few days. That being said, I have an excuse. Around the same time that the first issue of Daniel Is Funny is coming out (and don’t worry, it’s coming out very, very soon,) you’re going to be getting another little book to chew…
Yesterday, I covered an advertisement meant to help geeks lure other geeks into their cellars. Today’s advertisement is also aimed at the nerd crowd, but it’s for nerds who have given up on everything, much less love. All nerds love video games. The nerd introductory scene of any movie always features the nerd playing a…
It’s hard to capitalize on the dating website market. OkCupid, Match, and eHarmony have monopolized disappointment to such an extent that any intrepid, young entrepreneur with the dreams of better helping people find other people to bone has to look into niche areas, like farmers and Christians, to gain success. Another niche group that desperately…
Merrimon Avenue is Patton Avenue’s generally nicer younger brother. While you will age two to three years at any point that you decide to take a left on Merrimon, once you actually start moving, it’s generally a decent pace. Compare that to Patton, where my crumbled skeleton resides at the traffic lights beside The Rush,…
“The world hasn’t heard much from Alfred Hitchcock ever since Hulk Hogan slammed him in the Pontiac Silverdome at Wrestlemania III. But, before that, he left a vast legacy of films that other people couldn’t help but tamper with. You would think that, with films of the caliber of Psycho , The Birds and Rear…
Recently, I’ve begun seeing a few arguments over the N-word, and some white people complaining about their inability to use it. I know that, immediately, those who both understand logic, and have read the last sentence, would say “Why?”, but this article is not for those people. This article is for everyone who can’t possibly…
Scientists have learned what different whale songs mean. I see no reason why they shouldn’t attempt to do the same thing with Godzilla. So, for the benefit of the study of biology, I have analyzed and transcribed the Godzilla roar that was released yesterday. :00-:01 No one really knows that I’m here yet, so I…
I don’t hate jocks anymore. In fact, I don’t really like to use the word “jock,” because “jock” is a class of people that you reference when your life is more RPG than reality. You use the word “jock” because it makes you feel better about yourself and the intelligence system that you’ve placed on…
When there’s no more room in hell, the spambots will walk the internet. You can’t go anywhere without seeing spambots nowadays, all telling you easy ways to work from home, or how profitable it would be to start flipping houses. While people who are just now putting their fingers to keyboards might be tricked by…
I recently read a list of 21 rules that women need to learn about men. Aside from being moronically dumb, it didn’t even scratch the surface of all the secrets that men have that women are unaware of. Here are thirteen more! Come on, ladies! Keep up with the stereotypes! 1. When you make the…
Pitbull is one of the most identifiable men in pop music today, and nearly every reason for that is usually considered “bad.” Everyone is aware of Pitbull’s contributions to the world – his short, incomprehensible verses, his repeated “Dales!” and “Mr. Worldwide’s!,” and his seemingly random transitions from English to Spanish and vice versa. But…
Did you misunderstand The Wolf of Wall Street? Perfect. I imagine that, after you saw that movie, you had a sudden urge to get rich and dateable, through a mix of “philosophies” that are only recommended by people on the internet who list their occupation as “Entrepreneur.” But I’m here to tell you that you…
