Nailing A Job Interview With Little To No Uncertainty

The job market is hard right now. Really hard. I could make “as hard as a” similes all day, it’s so hard. But I won’t, not because I don’t like referencing blood flow to certain organs in articles, but because that’s not what this article is about. Remain focused on the prize. That’s tip number one.

The most important thing to remember is that a job interview is like fighting a circus bear. You’re not gonna win, but if you put on a good enough show, you might be called back to get paid and punch a bear some more.

Michelle Bachmann’s Schedule

7:00 AM: Hit the snooze button on specially designed alarm clock to stop Nelson Mandela’s screaming. 7:15 AM: Get angry over discovering “brown eggs” in her fridge. 7:30 AM: Knock on Marcus’ cabinet to see if he needs more water. 8:00 AM: Takes shower. Washes off remnants of reptile skin that didn’t flake during the…

Dating Tips For You And Your Philias 5/7: Macrophilia

Macrophilia Fascination with or a sexual fantasy involving giants. Examples: Girls over 5’6, Giganta, That one lady who married Flava Flav that one time. How does the universe work, my friend? Are our lives determined by destiny or are we in complete control? The latter, you say? Good Attitude. I see you there, tongue on…

Thank You, Hanna Barbera: Samson And Goliath

Most people are familiar with some sort of bible, regardless of whether the people in that bible are white or Asian or reptiles or aliens. However, the employees of Hanna Barbera were more familiar with the Christian bible then anyone had any right to be. So familiar, that they had knowledge of a previously unreleased…

The Ins And More Ins Of The Friend Zone

You know what I’m referring to. A lot of people have written countless pages about what it is, how you got into it and how you can get out of it. I’m sure, somewhere, Ashton Kutcher and Kristen Bell have read for a film called “The Friend Zone.” However, if you’re still not sure what…

Thank You, Hanna Barbera: Partridge Family 2200 A.D.

For those who don’t know, The Partridge Family was an early 70’s prime time show about a widowed mother who helps her five children out with a music career. The show lasted for four years. In all realism, a show like this should’ve lasted less than a single episode. It would’ve lasted thirty seconds. Partridge…

Thank You, Hanna Barbera: The Super Globetrotters

When people think of Hanna Barbera, most cull up memories of Jonny Quest and Huckleberry Hound, The Flinstones and The Jetsons. These were shows that defined a generation, and still remain enjoyable today. How about The Super Globetrotters? Or Samson and Goliath? Or Partridge Family 2200 AD? Or Hanna Barbera’s fascinating “revival” of Godzilla? Do…

Dating Tips For You And Your Philias 4/7: Omorashi

Omorashi Arousal experienced from having a full bladder or a sexual attraction towards those who have the feeling of a full bladder. Examples: You needing to pee, someone else needing to pee, you and someone else simultaneously needing to pee. Omorashi is a fetish subculture that primarily exists in Japan, which makes sense, as Japan…

Dating Tips For You And Your Philias 3/7: Frotteurism

Frotteurism The paraphilic interest of rubbing against a non-consenting person for sexual gratification. Examples: Only one. You and someone who would probably never want to hang out with you. I see you there, Mr. Nervous-Hands-In-The-Pockets. You’re shifting on your heels, surrounded by beautiful women, and you can’t get the nerve to grind against one of…

Dating Tips For You And Your Philias 2/7: Autassassinophilia

Autassassinophilia Psychosexual arousal from the risk of being killed. Examples: Imminent car crashes, imminent plane crashes, imminent rape/murder cases, other imminent death scenarios. I see you there, being all gentle and caring and stuff. You look foolish. That girl doesn’t want you to hold the door open! She wants the door to be made of…