#no #newfacebook


@iTweetfacts – Dear #NewFacebook, I prefer the Old Facebook. Sincerely, all of us.

@TheDracoMalfoy_ – The #newfacebook is still not as good as Tom Riddle’s diary.

@TinaLoveEric – #newfacebook IS BIG SH*T!

@OFFICIALKENDRO – There seems to be a new #newfacebook everyday…

Assumption: Complaining about a social networking site on another social networking site is like a man complaining to a prostitute about his wife, while the movie “Inception” plays in the background. Shit’s complex. I assumed that this tag would be full of complaining, with various movie heroes and villains relating the new Facebook to their respective franchises.*

*This is a practice that I wish was expanded upon. I think there should be more pretending to be certain film icons on Twitter, along with pretending to be people who aren’t famous at all, like nameless family members. For example:

@mygrandfather: What the hell is a character count? Did Obama make it up? Why can’t I see what I wrote?

Was I Right: I usually am right in my guesses about Twitter and this was no exception. Once again, the hive mind took over, and the simplicity of “I hate #newfacebook” and “why do they change facebook so much? Ughhhh #newfacebook,” seemed to be enough for most people. A few people even swore allegiance to Twitter and shut down their Facebook page, which doesn’t make sense to me. It would be a lot harder to gawk at a female stranger’s slutty Halloween pictures if I didn’t have Facebook.

How To Use This Tag For Good: Erase it from history. This isn’t a “new Facebook.” This is still Facebook. It will be a new Facebook when the logo is changed into something more 3-D and relatable to “hip kids today” and it’s directed by Rob Zombie or J.J. Abrams. Also, if you can’t understand how to use the new Facebook, you shouldn’t be allowed near a computer, as this whole “technology mumbo jumbo” has become far too complex for you. Go back to your abacus and cave paintings. We’ll call you when the apocalypse goes down.

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