Assumption: If you’re not my friend, then I would absolutely love to see you be sad over the internet, especially in 140 characters or less. Recently broken up with your girlfriend and you just can’t get over her? Bring it on, Sad McTragicFigure. I’ll weep tears of joy on your tears of pain, mix it together and then drink it down to form laughcry pee.
That’s gross. But only if you mentally tasted it. Now it’s more gross.
I assumed that what I would find here would be a lot of statements about how “I should have treated her right.” If there’s one thing that men who use Twitter are good for, it’s feeling sad about their ex’s who don’t have Twitter. Want proof? Check every other post I made before mid-2010. Nevermind. Don’t do that.
I also expected there to be a decent number of people who cheated or felt like they’ve wasted opportunities. And mostly, I wanted there to be statements about missing high school/college. I tend to clump my high school years into an era called “Social Mind Rape” and my college years into one called “The Ol’ Drink And Collapse.” Either way, I have no want to revisit them. However, as I’ve discovered since graduating, there are a lot of people who would like to go back and do them over again. This is like getting kicked by a horse in the head, and then saying “Man. That whole horse thing. How ‘bout it happens again, but THIS TIME in the chest?”
Was I Right: I usually am and I usually was. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever been more right about anything in my life, nor will I ever be right about anything more then I was right about this. I could go back in time to the late Cretaceous Period, tell a Triceratops “You’re gonna be dead relatively soon, you three-horned bastard,” and then come back home, and I still wouldn’t be more right than I am right now.
How To Use This For Good: This tag is a sinking ship of sadness, and only as it sinks do the passengers actually get more air. The best way to save this would be to use this tag to tell about what you would’ve done in situations that don’t necessarily need fixing, or are useless activities. For example:
tweetzilla: #IfICouldDoItOverAgain I wouldn’t have watched the first three seasons of Smallville in a row.
Tweetzilla: #IfICouldDoItOverAgain I would make sure to get Italian Herb And Cheese instead of French bread.
Tweetzilla: #IfICouldDoItOverAgain I would have turned on the subtitles. This dub track is awful.