Whatever A Spider Can 12: Kilowatt Kaper

Cop: I think Spider-Man knows what he’s doing.

First off, a friend, after reading my review of the last episode, said that they didn’t understand the plot that I described. He then watched the episode and was confused even further. I’m happy for this reassurance that I’m not stuck into some Spider-Man induced stupidity paradox and that the cartoon is as confounding to me as it is to others.

Second, this episode features Electro, who is being played by Jamie Foxx in the Amazing Spider-Man sequel. A lot of insecure white nerds threw their pizza fingers up in outrage at the news that someone other than a white guy was going to portray Electro, since it “wasn’t true to the comics.” I feel that, as a nerd, I can rightfully respond to this claim with “Whatever, nerds.” We (me) here at danielsfunny.com totally support any attempts to make Electro cooler. Someone that lame can only be improved by having Django play him.

Third, this is the first reappearance of a villain, and I honestly have no idea what they’re going to do with him. He framed Spider-Man in his first episode, and that already knocks out 90% of the plot ideas that the writers of this show use. Either Electro is going to coerce Jameson into funding a robot-building project or Electro is going to actually be The Lizard.

Lastly, check out the kool way that they spelled the story’s title! Spider-Man is all about being xtreme.

Kilowatt Kaper

Plot: Spider-Man has gone to the prison warden and is informing him that the upcoming thunderstorm might give Electro the power to escape. It’s nice to see Spidey taking such a proactive measure in not getting his ass kicked again. Meanwhile, Electro builds a kite (and not any kind of special, supervillain genius kite, a fucking kite kind of kite) and escapes anyway, while Spider-Man and the warden hopelessly stand five feet away. Electro escapes the room, but takes the time to stand outside and pose a little bit before making his way back to the city.

Electro

Jameson wants to fire Peter Parker for not spending time at the prison to take pictures but Betty talks him down. Meanwhile, Electro does more of this rad power line surfing, all the way to the power plant, where he overloads it so that it can’t be shut off. NYC starts to black out and Electro remarks that when it reaches a certain level, he’ll drain it all. Peter is in his lab, working on a new, doomed-to-fail, web formula, when his power goes out. Peter takes this as the impetus to put on his Spidey costume and stop Electro. Blacking out Manhattan? Fine, but if you cut off Spider-Man’s power, he’s gonna give you a chin to punch.

Betty and Jameson are the comic relief of this episode with their quest to bring light to the Daily Bugle office. Betty lights a candle and Jameson runs into furniture. It’s nearly as funny on the show as it was in my description.

Spider-Man and Electro fight in a Midtown power plant, where Spidey is nearly knocked into a turbine. Electro manages to escape so, instead of following Electro, Spidey hurries home to finish his web formula. Electro tries to blackmail Jameson and the rest of the city into paying him to turn the electricity back on, but Jameson is stubborn about it, so Electro sends a shock all the way back to Jameson’s end. I know that I should be astounded by the liberties that this show takes with science, but at this point, I’m surprised that the jolt didn’t make Jameson grow fifty-feet-tall.

The city agrees to pay Electro, Electro turns the power on, and the show reveals that one can control ALL of Manhattan’s electricity with this panel:

new york power

I wish I could explain how exactly Spider-Man defeats Electro this time, but all I can say is that it involves super reflective webbing, Times Square and Electro is an idiot.

spider-man dance

Animation Woe: At one point, Spidey lands on a steel beam that Electro has superheated. Since the animators on this show only know deep mental pain, they have no idea how a person, much less a Spider-Person, acts when they’re hurt. Thus, Spider-Man just does the YMCA dance for a bit.

Amazing Spidey Quote: Spider-Man: “Don’t overcharge yourself, glitterpuss.”

Twelve stories in and this is the closest that Spider-Man has come to a legitimate insult. I’m kinda proud of him, to be honest.

-Daniel

Episodes: 12345678910111213141516,

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