Music Video Film School: “Love Somebody” by Maroon 5

Transitioning into acting is a move that ever musician considers. And it’s usually a massive success. When you think about the Pirates of the Caribbean series, who is the first person that comes to mind? Johnny Depp? No, dummy. Keith Richards.

Adam Levine’s been in a few episodes of America Horror Story: Asylum, a second season that was all about coming out of the closet and accepting yourself for being really, really dumb, and he made a slight impact on the credits of that show. His next big move is to star in this remake of Hollow Man. But this isn’t your older brother’s Hollow Man. This is Adam Levine in Hollow Man. And that means feelings.

Sadly, there's very little hijinks.

Sadly, there’s very little hijinks.

If you remember, most of the original Hollow Man was based around the gleefully insane Kevin Bacon doing invisible stuff and pissing people off. In Hollow Man: Rebirth, Adam Levine comes to realize that he’s invisible, but this time it’s both in a physical and metaphorical sense. People would still bump into him all the time and wonder who opened the door and stuff, but he also can’t get laid. And if you’ve listened to any Maroon 5 song, you’ll realize that this is a common theme, despite the fact that once a week, The Voice forces all of America into sexual readiness. It’s kind of like a Cold War bomb threat test in an elementary school. Adam Levine shows up on screen and your hormones duck and cover.

Luckily, Adam isn’t alone in being invisible because his band is too. However they never get very far in putting on their blue soap suds, but I imagine that it’s an artistic decision based around this new Hollow Man being more realistic, kind of like the Joker’s war paint in The Dark Knight as compared to his earlier incarnations. But Adam Levine wants a mate, a bride of Frankensob, and he reaches blindly into the air, only to luckily find another invisible girl, who he begins to uncover. This film portrays an accurate depiction of what most of Adam Levine’s female encounters are like, as the girl immediately starts to straddle him while Levine looks confused about what you’re supposed to do next.

WILL HE EVER FIND THE LOVE HE DESERVES?!?

WILL HE EVER FIND THE LOVE HE DESERVES?!?

Adam Levine and his girl are then seen in various stages of visibility, and his band ruins their instruments. A keyboard being completely dunked in paint can’t be very good for its mechanics, but since every on stage introduction they’ll ever get from now on will go something like “And ladies and gentlemen, Maroon Fi-OH HOLY SHIT GHOSTS! GHOSTS!”, it’s probably not going to get any better.

The song ends with Adam Levine wiping his girl away and then wiping himself away as they both realize that life would be way more fun if they used their powers to wave objects in the air and blow out candles, rather than complain in each other’s ears about all the sex you don’t get because you’re invisible.

-Daniel

Download my horror short story “No Trespassing” in the first issue of DOOM!

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