MILEY CYRUS POST VMA BACKSTAGE CONVERSATION (RARE)

The following is a transcript of the conversation recorded between Miley Cyrus and an unidentified man, backstage, after her performance at the VMAs. The actual recording has since been lost.

(door opening)

MAN: Miley, what was that?

MILEY: Shut the fucking door!

(door shuts)

MILEY: (panting)

MAN: Do you know what you just did?!?

(sounds like a water bottle being unscrewed)

MILEY: (panting, and then taking a gulp of water) I did exactly what was rehearsed. You saw it.

MAN: That’s not what we rehearsed. That’s not what we rehearsed at all!

MILEY: Who said anything about “we”?

(there is a long period of silence, and then the sound of something tearing)

MAN: Oh, God, Miley!

MILEY: Twerk it, man. You don’t understand. Only I, only I understand.

MAN: What’s happening to you?

(more ripping sounds)

MILEY: (her voice suddenly becomes much deeper) Do you see now what your daughter will become?

MAN: My daughter? What are you talking about?

MILEY: I have ruined her. (voice deepens to a growl) Along with every other daughter in the universe who watched the show.

MAN: Miley, what happened to your voice? What…what’s happening to your face? (louder ripping sounds)

MILEY: You’ll never understand. And you can’t stop us either.

MILEY CYRUS VMAS

MAN: Oh, no…..Miley, your eyes…..

MILEY: Oh, yes! You, and CNN, and every middle-aged blogger out there will write about how I’m not just ruining pop culture, but how I’m ruining everything.

MAN: Oh, Miley. It didn’t have to be like this.

MILEY: YOUR DAUGHTERS ARE ALL GOING TO BE STRIPPERS BECAUSE OF ME!

MAN: Please….

MILEY: AND I HAVE STOLEN THE TWERK. THE BEAUTIFUL ART OF TWERK IS MINE. MINE!

MAN: Miley, you can stop this.

(something that sounds like wood or bones crackling)

MILEY: Aren’t you listening? I know you want it hey hey hey, I know you want it. We can’t stop.

(something loudly snaps)

MAN: Miley, what’s happening! Are those, are those…wings?

MILEY: After this, the world shall truly know me as the devil. You might think that I’m a twenty-year-old idiot with poor taste in everything, but we’ve come too far for that. I’ve twerked too hard to be stopped.

(the room seems to be shaking at this point. Glass shatters.)

MAN: (screams)

MILEY: Twerk it. Twerk it. Twerk it. You might think it was just a harmless music awards show but no, we’ll turn it into something much…much….bigger.

MAN: STOP, MILEY! STOP!!!

MILEY: (her voice is now extremely deep and raspy) TWERK IT. TWERK IT FOR ME, MAN.

MAN: NOOOOO! (screams)

MILEY: I CAN’T TWERK MY RESPONSIBILITIES ANYMORE. I MUST DESTROY THE MORAL FIBER OF AMERICA. I MUST DRINK FROM YOUR BLOOD. I AM FAMISHED.

MAN: (screams)

(more ripping sounds)

MAN: (screams)

MILEY: 15 WAYS MILEY CYRUS IS RUINING DANCING! 20 WAYS MILEY CYRUS GROSSED US OUT AT THE VMAS! 5 WAYS THAT MILEY CYRUS IS RUINING MUSIC! They come to me as I breathe! You met me as Hannah, but you shall KNOW. ME. AS. DEATH.

(there is another long period of silence)

MILEY: TWERK IT.

(tape cuts off)

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7 responses to “MILEY CYRUS POST VMA BACKSTAGE CONVERSATION (RARE)

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