My Favorite Comment On The Internet

The biggest indicator of my youth is that I don’t remember a time when you couldn’t comment on things on the internet. I don’t recall the dark ages of having to look at content without the ability to share my frustration/excitement with everyone else in the world. It sounds rough, especially for people who have yet to figure out positive ways to vent their anger outside of filling in the little “Reply” box with rage. That’s probably the reason that way more people used to transform into werewolves. That aggression has to come out somehow.

That being said, I love comments that don’t make sense, or in the case of the comment I’m about to share with you, make so much sense that I’m actually surprised by it. However, due to the influx of robots being able to comment on sites, sharing their plans to help you make $6,137 a week working from home, you now have to separate who is actually insane and who is made of cold steel and wires.


I really hope that Beverly Ballard isn’t a robot. She seems a bit fishy, as she has a bit too much consonance in her name than what I’m usually comfortable with. (I do as well, but I’d also like to take this time to come out as a one-third man, one-third machine, one-third cop, all cop cyborg. That’s a weight off my chest.) Beverly Ballard is also the stage name I’d take if I was a 70’s porn actress, so I feel that my concerns are valid.

But holy shit does Beverly make a point. There are way more technical terms for what she’s describing here, most of them variations of “irony,” but I totally respect Beverly for coming out with the most general statement that one can muster when talking about history.

It’s true! People didn’t know then what we know now. And it does make for interesting talk! History, especially the parts that deal with how ignorant we were of the way things worked, is fascinating. For a long time, we didn’t know a lot. And as time went on, we slowly learned how to be smarter and live longer. How many times did we poke mastodons with sticks before we decided that we needed to sharpen them before we could kill our dinner? How many times did we vomit for days before we realized that maybe brown wasn’t the color of drinkable water? How many stone ships are sitting at the bottom of every lake? How many arms needed to be replaced with wooden pegs before we learned that timing is, like in comedy, the most important part of tossing a grenade.

This comment is from National Geographic, a magazine/channel/website devoted to people from the now, researching people from the then. And Beverly, in a stroke of luck, has cut through all the bullshit and hit the core of why we love to learn.



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