Women want a man who leads.
They really do. They want a man who is assertive, and who takes control of the situation. They want a man who is passionate and knowledgeable about the things he believes in and the things he is interested in. They want a man who is stable, and positive-thinking. They want a man who is not doomed to self-destruction.
Women want a man with the qualities of a leader, because really, why wouldn’t they?
I can’t pinpoint the exact time that a lot of men heard “all women want a man who leads” and instantly confused it with “all women want an asshole.” Now guys, and the idiots among you, I can’t promise you that all women don’t want an asshole, just like I can’t promise all women that all men love girls with high self-esteem. Some women do indeed like assholes, and those women will be miserable for the rest of their lives. Their existences will be two month Honeymoon Periods interspersed with years of self-loathing. This is the kind of person who, for some reason, can’t help but steer off the side of a cliff, and there’s nothing you can do to help them. You don’t want these women in your lives anyway, so why would you try and emulate the instruments of their own relationship torture?
It should go without saying, but men shouldn’t be afraid of feminism. If you feel that women are encroaching upon your rights as a human, then I would see if your workplace offers psychological help along with its other health benefits. Feminism isn’t driven towards over-throwing men, it’s driven towards equality. It’s driven towards equal pay, and equal voice, and equal standards, and all the things that would make men and women, well, equal. You can keep your manhood. I’ve kept mine. My manhood is doing pretty awesome right now, because I realize that feminism isn’t meant to literally, and even more metaphorically, cut it off. Feminism isn’t threatening your ability to be a leader.
It’s really easy to think that being an asshole would be a good choice when it comes to attempting attractiveness, because usually that choice comes after you’ve been everything but an asshole. It mostly comes after you’ve been nothing. Have you ever tried to date a chair? A chair doesn’t have a lot of opinions, nor does it really go anywhere. It’s stable, but not in any sense of growth. It’s always there to support you, which is nice, until you have to go into places where you can’t bring chairs. Then a chair is kind of useless, and the person who sits in that chair tends to forget all about the chair. You can go home to a chair, because a chair won’t run away in the night, but a chair literally adds nothing to a conversation, other than “Man, it’s so comfy to have a chair sometimes.” Guys, don’t be a goddamn chair.
And the men who decided to mistakenly throw on the façade of being an asshole were often chairs in their past. Men who are legitimate assholes, like the women who fall for them, are going to live very lonely lives, good weeks ended with phone calls to their Moms because, once again, they won’t be bringing someone home to meet the family because “it didn’t work out.” Men who put on their asshole disguise after years of being a chair, question themselves too much, and as soon as a woman shows the slightest bit of interest in their new fake confidence, everything comes crumbling down, because the battle was won! They were a chair, and then they were “confident” and now they have a hot lady! And there’s obviously nothing left to do, except text “Hey are u mad at me :(“ when their soon-to-be ex-girlfriends don’t respond within an hour. An asshole’s relationship has a 99% chance of failing, so why would a fake asshole’s chance be any higher?
Being a leader is not being a domineering piece of shit. If you didn’t read the first paragraph, let me explain it in an even simpler way:
Imagine being stuck in the “Which restaurant should we eat at?” debate for the rest of your life. You know the conversation well, whether you’re asking the girl to dinner, or just driving and trying to stop for fast food. That’s what it’s like to be with someone who doesn’t have the qualities of a leader. Every situation is a “Which restaurant should we eat at?”, whether it’s about going to see a movie, or planning for the future, or being asked “Do you love me?” You make no progress and you just end up hungry.
It’s easy to assume that two people can’t be leaders in a single relationship, and if you think that just because you have the qualities of a leader, that your partner can’t, I would check your skull for the deep impact crater where God smashed your head in with his Stupid Hammer, hoping to kill you. Being a leader isn’t telling someone how something’s going to go or how it will be at all times. It’s talking and sharing opinions and being confident and being able to not only follow through with what you want, but being able to follow through with supporting what the person you love wants.
Don’t be afraid of the fact that women want a man who leads, if you’re unsure about yourself. If you’re unsure of yourself, you’re not ready for a relationship anyway. Confidence comes from building in the areas that you’d like to see grow, whether it’s your career, or your body, or whatever. And with confidence, with that self-assurance that comes from being able to say “I am this man, and I like these things, and I want to accomplish this, this and this,” will come the attractiveness that you desire.
The greatest women in the world: the women that you guys see, and talk to, and fall in love with, and actually want to spend the rest of your life with – they don’t want an asshole. They want a man who leads.