I have two new pieces up on Yell!, furthering our celebration of the year’s greatest holiday, and extending our rule of the internet. The page you’re reading right now? Yeah, we made you read that. The page you’re reading now? That’s this page. I’m a wizard.
The first is about a series of films that I’m not quite sure whether I like or hate: the Piranha series. Now, I went to see Piranha 3D three times in theaters when it was released in 2010, and it was one of my favorite films of the year. The other four films in the series? Eh, I couldn’t care less about them. They’re “fun,” I guess, but my definition of “fun” is extremely loose. Sometimes, the motion sensor hand dryers in public restaurants are “fun” for me, and I feel that I’m justified in saying that Piranha 2: The Spawning is the motion sensor hand dryer of the Piranha franchise.
The next article is a much more substantial, as it deals with eight horror films that you should watch in order to prepare for Halloween. I wanted to pick films that I wanted you to see, rather than the ones that you should logically see, so I did. I know that a sensible person would watch Rosemary’s Baby, because it’s a really, really damn good movie, but I’d much rather tell people that they should watch The Funhouse or The Last Dinosaur, two movies that often make you wonder if the director was leading his crew with a combination of traffic cop signals and Pig Latin.