The 8 Kinds Of Walking Dead Episode

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Watching The Walking Dead religiously has given me the opportunity to notice some distinct trends. Thus, I’ve been able to categorize the types of episodes that you’re bound to see while watching it. If you work for the show, you’re free to use this as a guide for what to write next.

New Guys Show Up – Can you trust them? There isn’t enough supplies to support them, too! If there’s four, you can trust three of them. One of them is nuts though. The crazy one dies at the end of the episode. Two of them will make it to the main cast. The last one, eh, who cares?

Why Are You Being So Weird? – Some character is having problems. Why were they not having problems before? This episode, that’s why. Let’s deal with some of their problems. End it with a monologue about having problems in the zombie apocalypse. It’s different now, way different from when there weren’t zombies around.

There Are Too Many Extras – You over-hired for the season, so now it’s time to kill off five people without speaking roles. This is relatively easy, as, literally, death is fucking everywhere. A bunch of middle-aged people screaming in pain as a zombie comes up from behind them to bite their necks.

Some Other Dude – Maybe you haven’t seen this person in a while. Maybe they got separated from the group. Regardless, we’ll spend the episode with them. It’ll be boring, but at least we don’t have to hang out with Rick today, so it’s a rock-and-a-hard-place kind of boring.

Buncha’ Zombies In The Road – Four characters are in the van. Doesn’t matter who. Really, it doesn’t. The van stops because a lot of zombies are in the road. Or it crashes and some zombies are nearby. Regardless, there’s a big reveal of a ton of zombies just chillin’ until these four characters showed up. Why are so many zombies in the road?

Who Did The Shit? – Someone did something, like killing a pet, or spilling some water, or lighting something on fire. Let’s find out who did it. My money is on Carl. He’s young, so it’ll be cool.

Sad Things – Somebody major says some nice things and then dies. Rick doesn’t find out until the end of the episode. He does that thing with his face where his bottom jaw expands like a python’s mouth and he starts to cry. He cries. Glenn says something funny early on in the episode, so it’s cool.

Moral Decisions/Moving On – Season Finale episode. Are people naturally good or evil? Is it okay to kill humans who aren’t zombies? Can you give people second chances? Take your pick. Now, talk about them. Maybe someone dies. End the episode with a wide shot of a place that the comic fans recognize. They’ll dig that, and it will get them excited for the next season.

-Daniel

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5 responses to “The 8 Kinds Of Walking Dead Episode

  1. I’ve never watched the show. It’s nice to know I no longer have to. I always saw it as kind of a Lost with Zombies and your description does nothing to dissuade me from that opinion.
    I’d probably love the show if ya got rid of numbers 2, 7 & 8.

    • I wouldn’t call it “Lost with Zombies,” as The Walking Dead always makes it painfully, painfully clear what is going on. The show is about as subtle as someone dropping a nuke labeled “Narrative” onto your television every week.

  2. At the end of last season when they brought in that bus of people, I thought, “well, they’ll be quite a lot to get rid of the first episode of the next season.” Personally, I’m quite glad if they move on from the prison now.

    • Oh, I am too. The Walking Dead works best whenever people are allowed to walk around. Put them in a prison or a farm and you’re one ingredient away from a recipe for boredom.

  3. Pingback: ZKS Episode 2 Is About To Drop - Zombie Killing Stoners·

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