Pokedex Entry 1: Bulbasaur

Pokemon has been a part of my life, off and on, for about sixteen years. I think it’s time I started writing stuff about it. I make no promises as to how long this series will last.

Bulbasaur

Bulbasaur, hearing my opinion of Bulbasaur.

Bulbasaur, after hearing my opinion of Bulbasaur.

I picked Bulbasaur only once as a kid. Once.

It was on my fourth playthrough of the Red Version, after I’d already beaten the game once with Charmander, once with Squirtle, and once again with Charmander, because, as you know, when you’re cool…

*Puts cap on backwards, and turns on “Sabotage” by The Beastie Boys*

…you always go with Charmander.

Out of the Ember/Bubble/Leech Seed trifecta of “Third Moves That Prove Your Starter Isn’t Totally Worthless”, Leech Seed was the worst at proving it. Ember could destroy whole forests. As soon as you had a ‘Mon that knew Ember, you immediately had to worry about knocking out wild Pokemon with one move, because Ember was the first attack you learned that might be a shot to the head every time. Most of the time with the Charmander line is spent accidently murdering half the things you wanted to catch.

Bubble at least did some damage to everything, but Leech Seed? Have fun with your one hour Bulbasaur training matches, people with poor taste in picking one of three balls on an old man’s desk. You hit puberty by the time you got to the first gym if you grew up in the same time that I did and chose Bulbasaur. I’m not saying that he’s awful, but yes, he is.

-Daniel

Read more of the Pokedex by clicking here.

LIKE DANIEL IS FUNNY ON FACEBOOK. I SWEAR, IT IS ALL CAPS HILARITY. 

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