King Kong’s Stupid Face

Whenever I want to save something special to me, like a sweet letter from someone, or a rock that looks like a Power Ranger helmet, I put it in my King Kong lunchbox. This King Kong lunchbox, with art based on the 1976 Kong film (definitely the greatest remake of all time and very close to being the greatest film of all time), is almost irreparably dented, and the hinges on it make sounds like the rust itself is screaming at you to just kill it already. I would love to be able to pack lunches in it and take it places, but I’m scared for the safety of myself and others, since this thing has to be loaded with about nineteen different metal based diseases. This lunchbox is tetanus shot antivenom.

I bought it about 3 years ago, from an antique store in Boone, North Carolina, and while I don’t spend all day looking at it and admiring it (and you couldn’t prove it if I did), I have taken the time recently to inspect it closer. The drawings are pretty cool, but there is one detail that prevents me from enjoying it totally.

kong 1

Kong’s.

kong 2

Stupid.

kong 3

Face.

I’m guessing that drawing all these pictures was a one person job, but could they not find someone who knew how to draw different facial expressions? I understand that this is a lunchbox, so artistic integrity is the last thing on your mind when you’re designing a product to accidentally spill juice in, but they picked the worst expression. All they had to do was draw Kong looking angry, as his body has definitely gotten the memo that anger is appropriate right now. He’s tearing a straw house apart, and wrecking a subway train, and he’s about to separate two halves of a plane, but his face has this weird, distracted look on it, as if we caught Kong thinking about something else.

kong 1

Either that, or he appears bored and sarcastic, like he’s way too hip to be tearing through New York City.


kong 2They couldn’t bear to draw him vicious, so now everything he does seems halfhearted. At least look like you WANT to be there, Kong.

kong 3

-Daniel

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13 responses to “King Kong’s Stupid Face

  1. You are one funny little bastard. I think ya got be (right at the top of) the consistently funniest blog(s) I read. Tears in my eyes n everything.
    Thanks a lot as always fer the great read.

  2. Hee & his fabulous Larious Brothers. Yer one funny guy, Thanks fer another great read. Consistently one of the funniest blogs I have the pleasure to enjoy on ol’ WP, he says wiping a tear from his eye.

  3. Pingback: Seriously.. | itsnotallaboutmybombom·

  4. Pingback: King Kong’s Stupid Face Part 2 | Daniel is funny·

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