It’s hard to find a nice apartment that fits with your budget nowadays. It’s even harder to, after you’ve spent all that money on rent, find ways to decorate it. However, just like with taxes, there are many ways to evade the normal financial pressures of life, by simply using some cost cutting measures. Below, you’ll read four of these methods, methods that will have your friends saying “Wow, this is nice? Is that smell coming from the oven or what?”
Many Blankets Theme
By the time a person reaches the age of twenty-five, they will have statistically accumulated an average of sixteen blankets. These blankets can be used in a variety of ways. Have a hole in the upholstery of your chair? Throw a blanket over it! Does a certain corner of your living room look sparse? A pile of folded blankets should fix that up! Need a socially acceptable way to cover a blood stained mattress? Blankets! They work, even without the blood.
You see, no one can fault blankets. In the times before heating systems were invented, blankets were a valuable commodity. So valuable, in fact, that we’d trade them with the Natives of other countries, in exchange for all of their land and power.* That value has only slightly lessened over the years, so when your neighbors visit for the house warming party, their response will be to congratulate you on being ready in case another Ice Age hits. And then they’ll probably to ask to help you build a fort.
*One smallpox blanket = 2 U.S. Nickels
Goodwill VHS Theme
The last time I went to a Goodwill, they had about thirty copies of the first Men In Black movie. Don’t ask me why there was a mass exodus of Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones vehicles all of a sudden. Just be thankful that there was. Depending on what thrift store you visit, VHS tapes can be bought for fifty cents to a dollar. If you stack six VHS’s on top of one another, you can end up with a nice little stool to sit on. If you have twenty, that’s a table! See what I’m saying here? As long as you don’t sit down or stand up too fast, copious VHS tapes are a great way to give your apartment that do-it-yourself vibe that twenty-somethings are always looking for.
VHS tapes are the Legos of the furniture world, and you heard that here first. Their flat sides enable them to fit against other VHS tapes with ease, and they can withstand the pressure of heavy ass better than DVD cases can. And if you’re a movie buff, even better. Imagine sitting on a chair made of thirty copies of Men In Black. That’s like being King Nerd, right?
Same Couch That Your Family Has Had For 18 Years Theme
Every family has one couch that is filled with three complete sets of mouse family and up to forty cashews; a couch that’s gone from uncomfortable to worn and comfortable, and finally to emaciated and alarmingly hard to carry. Take this couch. Give it a new home. Cover it with some of your blankets for extra padding. A couch can be a bed, or a table, or a desk. Owning a couch is like reading a good book. It can take you anywhere.
Don’t Invite Anyone Over Ever Theme
The easiest way to save money is to just never have people over. No parents or friends or maintenance guys coming to see if the place is even occupied anymore. Why buy furniture is there is no one there to compliment you about it? The ultimate way to save money is to not spend any of it. Don’t buy gas, or food, or anything for your entertainment. Sit in the middle of the darkened living room and listen for sounds. It’s like the old settlers used to do.
What was the echo you heard? You didn’t say anything….