The new issue of DOOM is out, and it features three monster movies that are due for remakes. Whether they be about a giant, Aztec serpent god, or a gorilla bathrobe thing, or a lizard pushing its way through miniatures and a loose definition of animal cruelty, these are movies that should come on the list well before Godzilla when it comes to reboots.
“No series has quite enjoyed both success and shitting upon like the Godzilla series. The titular monster has starred in twenty-nine movies so far, and if you ask anyone that isn’t a “Godzilla fanatic,” they’ll tell you that about 97% of those films are stupid to the point of insult. Godzilla fans will tell you otherwise, saying that you can’t compare them to normal films, but must critique them based on their own merit. Vegans use a variant of this logic when explaining themselves at family reunions.
While I am excited for the Godzilla film to come in May of 2014, I don’t necessarily need another Godzilla film. I know what he’s about. I’ve seen Superman III Godzilla, and I’ve seen Man of Steel Godzilla. I don’t know how much more ground you can cover with the guy. That is, unless they make Godzilla the story of a hulking Japanese dock worker who learns that, sometimes, you don’t need book smarts to be brave, and then beats up King Ghidorah. I’d watch the shit out of that movie. “