Yell Magazine 5/16/2014: Rob Zombie Hates You, And I Cried During Transformers

I wrote four news posts for Yell! Magazine today, so I feel like that warrants a blog update. They’re about X-Men, clown faces, robot dinosaurs, and video games (which I’m awful at.)

MAN CREATES WOLVERINE CLAWS. DANIEL DID NOT HAVE A DATE FOR PROM.

I CRIED DURING BEAST WARS: TRANSFORMERS. LOOK AT THESE DINOSAURS.

RUN AND SHOT. ZOMBIE AND ZOMBIE AND ZOMBIES.

ROB ZOMBIE HATES ME TOO.

-Daniel

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5 responses to “Yell Magazine 5/16/2014: Rob Zombie Hates You, And I Cried During Transformers

  1. Um…All your articles are written well, Daniel. It’s their culture I just don’t understand.

    I do like the Wolverine films, and his character. Thanks for sharing the video. It was fun–the accomplishment and the guy’s enthusiasm. It would be great to learn that he also uses those skills to help in other areas, wouldn’t it?

    Re: All the Transformers films…Big boys, and actual big toys. Is it boys missing their daddies–even boys who HAD warm, loving daddies? Love the Wahlberg line, though : )

    The Rob Zombie stuff, and more films in that genre? So effing misogynistic. Let’s have more naked women, unbalanced by parades of naked men. And scary old women, scary primarily because they’re old. Oh, yeah: and WOMEN. Or: what a blast to make tit humor, such as inflating one. Knee slapper. Lets inflate a guys huge testicle, too, yeah, and then explode it! Won’t make any dudes uncomfortable, will that? Guys kill me.

    And this, re: the new game release review:
    “…with the exception of replacing redneck characters with Japanese schoolgirls (which is, honestly, an inevitable change, caused by forces of nature outside of our control).”

    Really. Attraction to barely-legal girls (and I use the word “girls” the way many women use it–not as many men do) by men of all ages cannot be controlled, and the marketing of same cannot be controlled, or pressure brought to bear by adult–actual adult–men refusing to purchase or pirate games that feature such characters–or, say, by dinging them in reviews..

    Pish, Daniel.

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