Most Internet Bicycle Crash Videos Caused By Actual Inability To Ride A Bicycle

bicycle-accident

In what is sure to become a controversial topic among internet bike crash video enthusiasts, Drew Hubbard, famous for his inclusion in the viral hit “Best Sports Fails of May 2014,” revealed today that he, and many others who are known on the internet for totally fucking eating it when they’ve fallen off their bikes on camera, actually didn’t know how to properly ride a bike before the day they were filmed. “I know that it looks like a bad accident,” Hubbard says. “But I should’ve seen it coming. I didn’t even know that I was supposed to hold onto the handle bars when I first got on it.”

Hubbard, who fractured four ribs when he flew off the front of his bike and failed right into the side of a tree, seemed surprised when told that bicycles had brakes, a lack of insight that gains a certain validity when you watch Hubbard come barreling down the hill at full, insane speed. “Wow, that would’ve made a hell of a difference,” Hubbard said earlier today, as he watched the recording of himself hurtling into danger. “Also, apparently bikes have different gears, which control something, I’ve heard. Would that have helped? Eventually I’d like to learn how to ride one of these things off camera.”

Sarah Pearson, famous for her similar role in the video “girl falls off bike i dare you not to laugh,” was also entirely unaware of the machinations of bicycles when she climbed onto one and subsequently broke both forearms. “It’s a really popular thing, you know? It might seem like we’re pros who just made mistakes, but most of the time, those 85 degree angle trails are our first ever rides. It really explains why we mess up so badly.” Hubbard, who calls himself an “adrenaline junkie,” can be found later this week on the FAILBOT YouTube page, in a video entitled “FAIL: Man jumps off balcony and misses pool NSFW.”

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