Sometimes, when you love someone, you’ll do anything you can in order to win them over. Sometimes, this includes trying your best to impress their parents. I guess that’s what the video for “Rude” is about, as Johnny MAGIC! attempts to marry that girl in any way that he can. The only problem is that he’s the worst person in the world at it.
It starts out with some Instagram filters, which are dispersed throughout the video, as Johnny MAGIC! adorably plays guitar for a girl who, in turn, plays with his hair. You can tell that they’re in love because of all the filters going on. If this was the same scene, but without the sun soaked bits, you’d know that it wasn’t meant to last. But, instead, we’ve set the filter to “Retro memories” which means that this romance is ten times more special than any normal romance. Under normal circumstances, they’d break up because of his refusal to stay monogamous while on tour. Add a filter, and your chances of a divorce plummet.
He wants to marry this girl, so he goes to her father’s house. They have a conversation and the father refuses to let him marry that girl. I doubt that the dad’s reasoning is based on Johnny’s appearance or his career path, but rather because the singer has his posse all stand outside and lean on the car, watching like hipster buzzards. Hey, guys. If you’re ever planning to ask a father for his daughter’s hand in marriage, go for it. But tell your buddies to meet you at Taco Bell afterward or something. Don’t have them staring down the father, drooling over the results.
We then see the girl and her family at an un-filtered dinner, along with a guy with short hair and a suit. A financially stable career and grooming knowledge for days? This does not bode well for romance in the music video world. Also, the girl looks completely unenthused, as if she’s just meeting the guy at this dinner. They should’ve at least included a scene where the dad tells his daughter that, after talking to her weird, guitar-ish friend, he met a bank associate on the commute home and invited him in for a sudden meal and a potential marriage.
Johnny MAGIC! attempts to reason with the father one last time, but he is let down, not for any harsh reason, but because he’s interrupting their dinner. I’m kind of on the side of the bank associate. At least he understands social cues. Regardless, after an argument with her father, the girl runs away and is proposed to by Johnny MAGIC! near his garage. It’s not specific where he proposes to her, but I assume it’s where he also keeps his car. He seems to spend a lot of time there.
Then, in order to make things right, Johnny MAGIC! and his band return to the house wearing suits and tuxedo t-shirts, and hold a rose in front of the girl’s parents. Note the toboggan on Johnny MAGIC!’s head. It’s the kind of toboggan that lets a man know that you love his daughter, but you share that love with slack lining and hacky sacks equally.
The father is unimpressed, as he should be, and the couple get married in a garage. It’s all very nice. And then she and the band run away into the night, which symbolizes moving towards uncertainty. Don’t get married in a guy’s garage. At least ask for him to set up some chairs on the driveway first. It’s the least he can do.