This Rush Hour DVD Combo Pack is only $9.99?!?

This Rush Hour DVD Combo Pack is only $9.99?!? That’s incredible.

I came to Walmart to buy dog food and dish detergent, but little did I know that I’d run across the find of the century, nestled in that Walmart DVD display crammed between those two other Walmart DVD displays. Holy shit! Just check it out.

The madcap, yet emotionally touching, adventures of Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker are mine to own for $9.99? Let me break that down. $9.99 divided by 3 is $3.33. That’s $3.33 per Rush Hour movie. That’s MORE than doable. That’s probably the best deal I’ve ever seen.

This might be the greatest thing that anyone could ever buy, really. What else can you unearth that has a price as evenly distributed across a product as all three (the Rush Hour trilogy I should say,) for $9.99. That’s about 5 ½ hours of entertainment, for just $9.99. I’m almost rendered speechless.

As I said, I came in here to buy dog food and dish detergent and nothing else, but it’s just a testament to the fucking steal that is $9.99 for all three Rush Hour films (the Rush Hour saga), that I walked away with the Rush Hour DVD Combo Pack. One might say “Do you really need that right now?” but one could answer that hypothetical question with a question of their own: “When would one find something better?” I married my wife knowing that I’d never find a partner as dedicated and wonderful as her, and even that wasn’t planning for the future as well as I’d be doing when the cashier scans the Rush Hour DVD Combo Pack and hands it to me for me to enjoy over and over again. You may never find something this worthy of the American dollar.

Basic CMYK

At certain points in your life, you’ll be forced to make choices. And you might not want to make these choices because you question them. You question that way that they’ll affect your life, and this is really the great turmoil of human existence. But when you come across something like the Rush Hour DVD Combo Pack, it’s like everything becomes simple. For the first time in your complicated, busy life, things become black and white. The choice is made before you even walked into the store. There’s something comforting with that kind of destiny.

As I said, guys. I was there to buy dog food and dish detergent. I didn’t plan on spending the extra $9.99, but some higher power, whether it be God or some other deity entirely, certainly did. And so I picked it up, looked at the picture of Jackie Chan folding his arms and Chris Tucker doing a hilarious martial arts kick, and I went with it. There’s something beautiful about the things that fate hands you sometimes, and the Rush Hour DVD Combo Pack is certainly one of those things.

Carpe diem.

 

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