This Article Is About Ebola. For God’s Sake, Click On It.

Look, I just need some hits here, people. I have bills to pay, so I figured that I’d write something about Ebola. Not any specific thing about Ebola. Just something declaring something about Ebola. That ought to bring in a little bit of ad revenue.

Hey. Ebola could be in your cat. Maybe. No one really knows. It’s in your cat and soon, it’s going to be in you because it might be airborne. Or evolve into something that’s airborne. Please click on my other articles. Please, for god’s sake.

Ebola is deadly. That’s pretty good, right?



I don’t mean to get all flustered about this, but honestly, I shouldn’t have to be putting this much effort into an article about Ebola. Ebola! Ahhh! It’s here! It could be here! It’s right behind you. Say “Ebola” three times while looking in a mirror and you’ll contract it. People who get Ebola have gone out in public. Other people are in public! What spreads Ebola?

This is exhausting.

Just read this, and look at the other things I’ve written. I’m begging you. This Ebola scare trend is eventually going to trickle into nothing and I need to latch onto it fast because the power company says that it’s going to shut off my electricity.

Boo! It’s Ebola!


5 responses to “This Article Is About Ebola. For God’s Sake, Click On It.

  1. I appreciate this post. Altough you have 3,502 more followers than I do, I am trying to gain a little attention myself, but I can only type as quick as my fingers would allow. Which is as slow as an elementary kid with peanut butter stuck between their pudgy fingers. Anyways, you caught my attention and I’m looking forward to reading more of your witty thoughts.

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