3 Important Things That I Forgot About Because I’m A Giant Idiot

I forgot to post these three things when they were released because I’m forgetful and lack content management aptitude.

CRACKED: I HELP OUT AT A HAUNTED TRAIL EVERY HALLOWEEN AND IT GAVE ME INSIGHT INTO THE HUMAN BRAIN

DOOM: I WROTE A FLASH FICTION PIECE AND A BUNCH OF JOKES ABOUT THE HALLOWEEN MOVIES 

YELL! MAGAZINE: I LISTED ALL OF ROB ZOMBIE’S MOVIES AND RANKED THEM. 

These should keep you mentally and sexually satisfied for at least an hour.

-Daniel

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One response to “3 Important Things That I Forgot About Because I’m A Giant Idiot

  1. Daniel, although the quotes below are from only the first paragraphs of your “Cracked” piece, yes, I really did read to the end, and it was good all the way through. But if you HAD stopped after the first paragraph quoted below, you would have still delivered plenty.

    “Scaring people on a dark path seems like it would be easy. You simply let things get quiet for a bit, and then suddenly make it loud, like in Paranormal Activity movies, or pity sex.”

    Ha ha ha!! That analogy! Suddenly found myself HEARING pity sex, based upon your words, and then wondering;

    (1) What kind of man IS Daniel? Has he actually bestowed pity sex?! Eew.

    (3) Uh…wait a m…Have I ever RECEIVED pity sex?! (Do not want to know.)

    The next quote from your piece I include because…

    “…teens know that the moment they drop their poise to show the slightest hint of weakness, a group of their friends is going to rip their letterman off and then tell the whole girls locker room about their penis size.”

    …I thought I used to be a teen. But apparently not, for I would have cared not one whit if the entire girls’ locker room had known about MY penis size.

    –O. Babe
    (proud possessor of a fine genital innie)

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