My Ex Will Be At This Party And I’ll Be Okay For At Least Half Of It

Hey, man. You know the theatre cast party right before Christmas break? Whose apartment is it gonna be at? Okay, word. Yeah, I just wanted to know so that I could show up and keep it together for 50% of it, until I inevitably break down.

Yeah, Laurie will be there. I know, I know, dude. But it’ll be okay. Yeah, dude. We were texting up until a few weeks ago, and then she said it was a “bad idea” because I might get the wrong notion about her wanting to get back together with me, but come on! It’s been two months since our three-year relationship ended. I’ve moved on. I’m a completely different person.

Oh, man. She is gonna be so jealous to see me try and stumble around a conversation with that one brunette girl in the freshman stage class, while she flirts with goddamn Brian the whole time. Just stay close to me when we make lighthearted banter for twenty seconds before she goes over to play Circle of Death with Brian. You might need to catch her when she falls over from shock from seeing how good I’m doing. Yeah, man. I bought a new shirt. It has Captain America on the front, but they did something to it to make it look like it was from the 70’s or something.

Hey, man. Could we go outside on the porch? Do you have a cigarette I could borrow? Why is she doing this right now? She KNOWS I’m here. I’m just gonna drink more. Is it okay if I stay on your couch? Thanks, dude. Really.

Did she leave early? Who drove her here? But Kate is still…oh, yeah. She probably went home with Brian. I talked to that dude once and he’s so….just, like,… you know that kind of dude who is, like, really smart in one area? Yeah. I don’t know. If he got together with her so soon after the break up, it just goes to show you the kind of people that they really are, you know? I’m the lucky one. Good luck, dude.

Hold on. I got a text. Oh, man. It’s from Laurie. Hold on. “I hope you are feeling okay. It was good to see you.” Yeah, whatever, I’m not gonna respond to that. You can’t just disrespect me like that and act like everything is okay.

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