I played a lot of Game Boy games when I was a kid, and I never got any good at them. Fifteen years later, I’m revisiting these games so that I can finally achieve victory. This is Daniel VS. Childhood.
I don’t remember when I received Yoshi, or who gave it to me. All I remember was the sheer disappointment of it when I finally decided to play it. And that’s not meant to be some kind of insult towards the person who thought that it would make for a great gift. If there is game called Yoshi, the best, most logical bet is that you’ll be playing as the titular character. You wouldn’t expect, for instance, that it would be a game about stacking matching objects that are vaguely related to Yoshi. That would be like making a game called Dwayne Johnson and having it be about cutting the sleeves off of t-shirts.
The aim of Yoshi is to have the bottom part of an egg, put a bunch of stuff on top of it, and then position that pile so that when you get the top part of an egg, you can crunch it all together and hatch a baby Yoshi. So maybe Yoshi is a Yoshi-breeding simulator, which would explain what the caretakers of the Mushroom Kingdom do with all the dead Koopa and Goomba bodies that they have lying around whenever Mario decides to travel anywhere. If you look at it like that, playing Yoshi becomes sort of a good cause. You’re helping ensure the future of a species.
Yoshi is fun in the most forgettable way possible. There is no end goal, other than to birth as many dinosaurs as possible, but it’s a pleasant kind of aimlessness. As someone who isn’t two, my ability to identify simple shapes is at its peak right now, so Yoshi was a very easy game to “research.” It was also a very easy game to put down. If my stack reached the top of the screen without some kind of egg top, I would lose, and the dream of opening a flourishing Yoshi wildlife preserve would be over. But that’s not my problem. I’m a terrible zookeeper, but a pretty decent player of Game Boy games named Yoshi.
Next: WrestleMania 2000