These are my big boy pants.
They do not have many pockets, like your small boy pants do. Your small boy pants have pockets because you need to carry around your childish things. I have abandoned my childish things. Thus, no small boy pockets.
My big boy pants are not tight like your medium boy pants. They are a little tight though, because ladies need to know what a big boy I am. They will look at my pants and say “What a big boy he is! I would like to know this big boy’s opinions on important issues and kissing.”
My big boy pants are not loose like your dumb boy pants. When I go into the store to buy more big boy pants, I am sure to buy pairs that fit. As a big boy, I have to pay attention to such things. If my big boy pants are baggy, people in the space around the big boy pants store where I go to hang out will look at me and laugh. “Ha ha! He is not such a big boy. Look at his pants! A big boy wears pants like mine.” They will then kiss all of the ladies and leave me with none.
My big boy pants are a darker blue than your ugly boy pants. The right shade of blue lets people know that you have a big boy personality. “That’s the kind of big boy that knows about music!” is what they’ll say when they see my dark blue big boy pants walking down the sidewalk.
My big boy pants are expensive, not like your poor boy pants. They also look rough, and everyone will marvel at how comfortable I look, and wish that they could be a big boy like me.
I will put on my big boy pants tonight, and I will buy many drinks, and I will show the world what a big boy I am.